Do you want a wedding or marriage?

Over the last few years I have noticed that a lot of my friends are getting engaged. Most I have been overwhelmingly happy for. It is something that should be celebrated! Love is in the air. I love weddings and I love watching two people in love join in such a serious commitment. The ones I have been truly excited for are the ones who of course are excited about being a princess for a day but they truly glow when they talk about being able to spend the rest of their lives with the person that they love. The wedding is the second perk for them.

Then there are those that the only thing they really are focused on is the wedding. What their dress looks like… what kind of cake they will be eating… what the bridesmaids are wearing… All of those things we dream of as little girls. That is all very exciting stuff and I love hearing all of the details. It’s all very exciting. But one thing that I can’t help but notice is them not talking about the most important part of all of this. The marriage…. They seem completely oblivious to what happens after the wedding. They are in this dream like state of being in a white gown and the whole room staring at the beauty of them.. I don’t blame them for that because let’s be honest what woman doesn’t want that?

Out of all of this blissful happiness I have notice there is a difference between these women. Some truly want to be married and live in the reality of what that means. Then there are those that want a wedding and don’t seem to be aware that they are making one of the biggest commitments of their life. All they see is flowers and glitter. Not forever and always. One thing that made me notice this was I almost did it myself. I was actually in a very sick relationship but I wanted a wedding. I didn’t think about all of the responsibility that comes with it. Thank God I woke up before I actually went through with it. I am not saying that women that are really excited about their princess wedding don’t understand that they are getting married also I have just noticed that some have forgot that they are also getting married.

My point is if you are wanting to get married to someone. Make sure you want to actually be married and not just want a wedding.

Dam you Writing!

As an aspiring writer (I say aspiring because I don’t believe I am one until I can actually have it as my full-time job) I found the most difficult thing to come to terms with is the lack of instant gratification. I have realized I can write something that I am truly proud of and think the whole world should love only to realize that a lot of people may just skip right past. It can be very defeating. Then I go through all the motions of “who is crazy enough to actually put themselves through all of this?”. Then I am tempted to give up and move on to something that wasn’t such a bruise to my ego.  Then I explore other options and every time I try to move on from my break up with writing I get roped back in with that temptation of creating something truly amazing and it starts all over.

This time I am choosing to accept that I am a writing junkie and there is no point in trying to fight it. Hi my name is Ariana and I am a writeaholic.. I am going to hate it and love it all at the same time. There is going to be a lot of ups and downs and I can choose to power through and go through the emotions or I can keep going to that toddler state of mind and throw a tantrum and give up. Yes I am 25 and I am guilty of being an over emotional drama queen…

Now today I am obviously having a good day with a lot of motivation. I can’t say that I will feel the same tomorrow but at least I have this feeling today so I can possibly come up with some pretty great pieces or at the very least ideas. Or maybe I will write some pretty crappy stuff and I will get to learn from them.

Wow I love having positive days!

What is Religion?

Today I decided to talk about something that can be a very touchy subject for some but it is something I have seen over and over again scrolling through blogs….. Religion.

I should start off by saying that I did not grow up with any sort of religion. My knowledge of God was a man that lived in the sky and sometimes people talked to him when they were sad or scared. I had two books about God. One was on his love and how much he loved everybody the second was about Noah’s arc. I truly just thought they were stories just like my green eggs and ham. I wasn’t really introduced to the concept of God until I was 8 years old. After some unfortunate events between my parents my dad and I moved in with my grandmother. She wasn’t religious either but she did have a relationship with a higher power. She brought me to church every once in a while and even then I still did not really understand much when it came to God. I just really enjoyed the music.

Fast Forward to my high school years. I had grasped that God was a big deal and that he made everything happen. As a teenage girl that gave me someone to blame. I remember trying to pray and it was really emotional for me. I would cry and beg and cry and beg. And then I would be more upset because I didn’t get instant gratification. So for me God was just someone to blame. After I got sent to a temporary foster home my feelings started to change and I was introduced to a religion for the first time in my life. My foster parents were catholic and went to church every Sunday. I chose to go with them out of curiosity because all I had heard about Catholic Church was that they were strict and mean. But my foster parents were the most amazing people I had ever met so I wanted in to their life. As I walked into this church they gave me all the instructions. And I have to say I loved it. I still didn’t understand most of it but I loved the structure and the consistency. Coming from a life that was so chaotic and walking into something so sturdy feeling I loved it.

Fast forward to my 20s once again I had gone through a bit of a rough patch. I was homeless and pretty alone. I was introduced to some people who didn’t teach me religion. They taught me spirituality and it saved my life. I still don’t know much about religion. I just know that there is a power greater than myself. I found a lot of comfort in having a God. I have not defined God or have even tried to figure out anything about him. I don’t want to over think or complicate it. I just know that God is watching over me and wants me to be a good person. I have nothing against religion I actually find it a very good thing because that is how others have found God and I think that is amazing. Every religion has someone that has given it a bad name. That is one person! I have met many people from many different religious backgrounds and they have been some of the nicest kindest hearted people I have met.

What I choose to believe or what others choose to believe is their choice and not for anybody else to try to decide for them.

Rants and Rambles: Weight Bashing.. Just stop

When you hear weight bashing I am sure you are thinking someone is bashing another for being big. Well that is not the only form of weight bashing. Telling someone they are too skinny and should “Eat a Burger” Is just as much a weight bash as telling someone they should “hit the gym”.

First off who asked for your opinion anyways? Not me. My weight has always been up and down. The happiest weight I have been at is 115 and the highest I have been is 135. Here is the deal. It doesn’t matter what others think because they are not in my body or in fact my life. You don’t see every meal I eat nor do you know how sick I feel when I am at 130. I have recently been teetering on the 130 so I decided to join a gym. While trying to talk to people about my goals with joining the gym all I got was “What are you talking about? You are so skinny. You don’t need to lose weight” and it just puts me into a rage. Do you see me naked? No. Do you have to live in my body? No. It’s not even about my weight it’s about how I view myself and the plain fact is my not happy when I see myself naked. So I chose to do something different rather than sit in my insecurity and be miserable. It is not a compliment to tell someone they are too skinny. That is the same thing as calling someone fat. It is you inserting an opinion that was not asked for.

So next time you think about commenting on someone’s weight just remember you are inserting your opinion where it wasn’t asked for. Now if I was withering away and not eating then yes of course someone close to me should confront me. Not some random person I barely know commenting on my pictures asking if I’m eating. Yes I am thank you very much.

You look like a Seizing chicken

Ok ladies if you’re easily offended please keep skipping through blogs. I am not here to hurt anyone’s feelings so just full disclosure I am going to be pretty blunt.

So let’s just jump right in. Ladies when you go out to a club/bar or anything where you will be tempted to go shake your ass in an open space where people can see you. It really doesn’t matter what kind of music or dance is happening I feel like it is my duty to inform you that when you hit that dance floor most of you look like you are either seizing or you have a stick up your ass. Now I am not saying that all women do this but I am going to say a lot do. Why do you do this? Because of the plain fact that you are trying way too hard to impress men with your dance/sex moves. We all know the saying about you can tell how a woman is in bed by how she dances… Well to some degree this is true. The problem is you look like a very dirty and sloppy one night stand. When you hit that dance floor to try to make men drool your just coming off very easy. (Sorry to break it to you)

No worries though I have the solution for you. It’s very simple. Less is more. (Unless you are a break dancer then cool do your thing!) Don’t hit the dance floor with the intention to make men think you’re sexy. That is just a desperate mess. Instead walk out on that dance floor knowing you are sexy and it doesn’t matter how many men want to boink you. Make it so you want to boink yourself! Or if you are anything like me I dance like an idiot with my friends because it’s fun and I don’t really care if anyone wants to see me in the naughty. Even if you have no rhythm as long as you are not trying to impress the room you will look just fine.