Since Valentine’s Day
is fast approaching and most are either excited to spend a day being in love or
dreading the idea of spending the day alone drowning their single sorrows in a
bottle of wine or a pint of Ben and Jerry’s or hell probably both.
I have lived in both worlds of the Valentine’s
Day drama. I have also fell into that unrealistic expectations of the day
(flowers, chocolates, teddy bears, balloons, candles, dinner, Jewelry…). All of
that “show me you love me stuff”. Yes of course that stuff is fine and dandy
and what woman or man would not like to feel appreciated for a day? We are
programmed to believe that this day should be a defining day for your
relationship (movies, ads, radio, books, commercials, TV shows).
I will admit that I
still do flirt with that fantasy of being treated like a princess for the day.
But I do not base my relationship on one day. 53% of women say they would leave
their significant other if they didn’t get anything on that day. It floors me
on how important it can be to some and how much pressure is put into it. No
wonder there are so many scorned men that hate this day. They have been set up
for failure. Don’t get me wrong I completely agree that you should celebrate
being in love for the day. But must it be so material? I am not saying that
people should completely shun the idea of buying something for your significant
other because there is nothing wrong with buying someone you love a present.
This day should be
icing on the cake not the whole bakery. Remember that your significant other is
not a mind reader and setting them up to do so would be you setting them up for
failure. If it is that important to you talk about it with them. Tell them
things you want (not dropping hints). Sure you may think this takes away from
the surprise of the day. In that case give them a few different ideas and let
them choose. Then ask them what they would like because remember a relationship
involves 2 people! Everyone is happy…
Communication is key people!
Now let’s touch on the
singles. I am no stranger to being single on this day. I have spent plenty of
time whining about the woes of being alone. It really isn’t the greatest on
this day. It can be very depressing….. If you let it. If you really want to
spend the day in your sweats feeling sorry for yourself then by all means
please do it. No judgment here. I have partaken in this sad ritual on numerous
occasions. It is a choice though.
If you are looking to
get out of that hole I have a few recommendations. First off wake up and make
yourself a nice breakfast. Take a nice shower. Get yourself done up a little
more than usual and venture out for the day. Have a shopping day or go to your
favorite book store. Or really anything that makes that strikes your fancy. Now
as you are doing this you may witness a couple here or there try to not do the cliché
rolling your eyes and thinking of how gross it is. Instead be happy for them.
Who are you to dam anyone else’s relationship? You would be drinking a poison
that is only damaging you. Your ill will has no effect on them. You are choosing
to make yourself miserable. Love is a beautiful thing and it will happen for
you if you let it. End your valentines
with a good dinner and remind yourself that being single is the perfect time to
be happy with you and being able to do whatever the heck you want to.
So in conclusion
whether you are single or alone don’t over think it and don’t invest your whole
wellbeing or your relationship on one day. Valentine’s will come and go and it
is your choice on how you choose to handle it.
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